Help someone with depression by staying connected, listening without trying to fix things, offering specific practical help and gently encouraging professional support. You cannot cure someone's depression, and it is not your job to. What you can do is help them feel less alone and make it easier to take the next step toward care.
People with depression often hear advice they cannot act on: exercise more, think positively, get out of the house. What helps more is being heard. Ask how they are doing and let them answer. Reflect back what you hear. Resist the urge to argue them out of how they feel. "That sounds really heavy" does more than "but you have so much going for you."
Depression drains energy and makes small tasks feel huge. General offers such as "let me know if you need anything" rarely get taken up. Specific ones do:
Depression is treatable, and therapy, medication or a combination helps many people. You might say what you have noticed and why it worries you, then offer help with the practical barriers: finding a therapist, making the call, checking what their benefits cover. For some people, a visit to their family doctor is the easiest first step.
Ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide?" Asking does not put the idea in someone's head, and it often brings relief. If the answer is yes, stay with them, listen and help them connect with support right away. In Canada, you can call or text 988 at any time. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. The Alberta Mental Health Helpline, 1-877-303-2642, is also available 24/7, including for you as a supporter.
Supporting someone with depression is draining, especially over months. Keep your own routines, sleep and friendships going, and share the load with others. It is also completely reasonable to see a counsellor yourself about how it is affecting you.
Depression can look different at different ages. In older adults it can be mistaken for normal aging, and in teens it often shows up as irritability rather than sadness. Our articles on depression in older adults and adolescent counselling cover what to look for.
We see adults, teens and older adults for depression in Calgary, Red Deer and Cold Lake, and online. If you are calling to ask how things work on behalf of someone you are worried about, that is fine too, and we can talk through how to encourage a first appointment. No referral is needed. Call 1-888-622-8350.
We direct bill many insurers, including Alberta Blue Cross, Canada Life, Sun Life, Manulife and Greenshield, which takes one practical barrier out of the way. See direct billing and insurance.
Related reading: Depression counselling, Depression in older adults and How long postpartum depression lasts.
