Working Parents And Child Development Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW It is a common challenge that parents face: they must work while at the same time strive to meet the needs of their growing children. Caught between a rock and a hard place and needing to pay the bills, working parents often worry if their children are suffering from their lack of availability. In truth, there are some children who are suffering. Some children who do not have adequate time with their parents are at risk of living a life feeling adrift, not connected in a positive relationship in a manner that lends itself to productive behaviour. These children are at risk of unproductive behaviour that could eventually be counter to their well being and development leading, at worst, to self-destructive behaviours including social withdrawal, early onset sexual behaviour, drug and alcohol use, truancy and delinquency. It is important to know that children derive their sense of self-esteem by the quality …

This Is What ‘Self-Care’ REALLY Means, Because It’s Not All Salt Baths And Chocolate Cake By Brianna Wiest Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing. It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution. It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day. A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is …

Deciding At What Age To Give A Kid A Smartphone Deciding At What Age To Give A Kid A Smartphone By Claire McInerny It’s the time of year when kids are thinking about their holiday wish lists. So what’s a parent to do when a child, possibly a very young child, asks for a smartphone? We hear that smartphones can be addictive, that screen time can hurt learning, but can’t these minicomputers also teach kids about responsibility and put educational apps at their tiny fingertips? To learn more, let’s look at two families: one where smartphones are allowed for elementary to middle school-aged kids, and one where they are not. Sydney Crowe is in sixth grade and has a smartphone. While she admits she mostly uses it for “playing games and watching television,” her mom, Patty, says that’s not why Sydney got the phone. Patty’s main concern was safety. When Syndey was in fourth grade, the bus missed her stop enough times …

Will ADHD Medication Change My Child’s Brain? What we know about the long-term effects of stimulants taken for ADHD By Caroline Miller If you have a child who’s been diagnosed with ADHD, you may be facing a decision whether to try medication. Stimulant medications have been shown repeatedly to be the most effective treatment for the symptoms of ADHD, helping kids pay attention, concentrate, manage their impulses, and avoid risky behaviors. About 80 percent of kids who try stimulant medications for ADHD find that they have a positive effect on symptoms. To put that in perspective, there is no other medication for a psychiatric condition that has such a high response rate. But you may have concerns about medication that affects the way your child’s brain works. And if the medication is taken for a period of years, does it have any long-term effect on the brain? How stimulants work When a child is taking stimulant medication for ADHD, the medication …

Communication. As Simple as “I” Statements? By Lisa Thomson We have all heard about using “I” statements and sticking to the topic at hand. These are definitely useful in learning to communicate, especially with your partner or in a conflict situation. But let’s take it a step further and put some tools into action that can make a more significant impact. Actively Listen. Openness and presence begets openness and presence. Get out of your own head. Stop thinking about what you will say next. Listen with the intention of understanding. We don’t typically resolve disagreements by taking a defensive stance and continuously re-stating our own rationale. It is human nature to want to feel heard, seen and understood. When you take the time to truly hear your partner, you will likely notice in them a new openness to hearing and understanding you too. Be interchangeable with what you are hearing the other person say. Being interchangeable means paraphrasing what the …

The Power of Self-Compassion The Power of Self-Compassion By Nicole Caines, R. Psych Many of us are far better at offering kindness and compassion to others than ourselves. We judge ourselves harshly and beat ourselves up, perhaps with the misguided idea that this will somehow motivate us to do better or be better. And then we judge ourselves even more harshly when our plan doesn’t work! However, you can learn to interrupt this pattern through the practice of self-compassion. Rather than judging and criticizing yourself, you can learn to respond to personal failures and shortcomings with kindness, acceptance, and an understanding that none of us get things perfect all the time. And for those who are thinking “but if I let myself off the hook for my failures, I will never improve myself and I will lose my ambition”, rest assured. Rather than encouraging self-pity, self-compassion is a powerful motivating force. Think of it as putting all that energy you would have used …

Myth Busters: Therapy in the Media Pop culture and media have historically portrayed counselling or psychotherapy in inaccurate ways. Therapists in movies and on TV are often portrayed as overly neurotic, judgmental, incompetent, and even aggressive. These quirky caricatures of bad therapists make for entertaining programming (after all, the medias job is entertainment, not education) but they are hardly encouraging to someone who might be considering seeing a therapist. Research has shown that media portrayals of therapists do, in fact, impact the public’s attitudes about seeking therapy. Inaccurate portrayals might lead the public to believe that unethical and even abusive practices are normal. If the majority of your knowledge of therapy comes from the big and small screen, you might benefit from some help separating fact from fiction. So, what does the media tell us about therapy and how are we to know what is fact and what is fiction? Here are 3 myths about therapy that we learn from …

8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Marriedby Lisa Thomson 1. Do you feel emotionally safe and supported in your relationship? Can you be vulnerable and open about beliefs, hopes and fears? 2. What are your reasons for wanting to get married? Are they idealistic or realistic? 3. Are you able to “show up” for your partner? Can you envision yourself as a supporter when life gets tough? As a confidant? As a cheerleader when your partner is pursuing a goal or dream? 4. Who is your relationship support system? Are you surrounded by friends and family who will support you in working through difficult times that may come up? 5. Do you know what your preferences are for how to handle finances, career, extended family and whether or not to have children? Have you communicated openly about these things with your partner, and have you listened to their hopes and preferences? 6. Are you sexually compatible? Are you a …

by Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD Learning from mistakes and errors is an important part of child and adolescent development. Most adults understand this concept. Yet, we have failed to teach our children that there is a positive side to getting things wrong. Many children grow up in a society that pressures them to be perfect – to get the highest SAT scores, to land prized scholarships, to get into the best universities.  Parents correct or complete children’s homework to improve their grades. They argue with teachers who try to point out a child’s areas of weakness that need improvement. How does all this focus on testing and perfection affect kids’ learning?  And how can we help them understand that learning from mistakes is part of healthy development? Why is it Important to Learn from Mistakes?Whether it involves homework, developing friendships, or playing a sport, learning is enriched through error. Learning from mistakes is part of how we challenge ourselves to learn …